20 Things That Only Happen in Dubai
1. Your Monday Morning Starbucks
When first arriving in Dubai, you’ll likely discover this average Starbucks waiting for you in the terminal. This Starbucks is more lavish than St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. It’s not just elegant, it’s a shrine. You’ll want to grab a cup of joe from here, because you’ll need it to make it through the rest of our virtual journey. Read more at: https://tr.im/yce67
2. A Public Bathroom
did you need to use the restroom after such a long flight? Perhaps you'd like to stop into this public bathroom, which by the way, happens to be nicer than my house. Of course, a truck stop bathroom is nicer than my house, so that really doesn't say very much. Read more at: https://tr.im/yce67
3. On The Road
While in our taxi to the hotel, you’ll notice a ferocious beast to our left. You know he’s wild because he’s both texting while driving and holding onto his pet cheetah. Perhaps he uses the cheetah while driving the same way Americans use their middle finger while driving. Read more at: https://tr.im/ufItr
4 Just another Hotel Room
We've finally made it to your hotel room. While it may look like the lavish room of a Disney princess, don't be fooled. It's simply just another place to hang your hat, along with your flying carpet, and bricks of solid gold. Read more at: https://tr.im/ufItr
5. Feeling Hungry? If You’re Poor Enough, Help Yourself
We both probably qualify as poor according to Dubai standards, so help yourself to some free food. This city is so rich, they simply hand out food. This also suggests that there are so few people in need of help that a convenience store can simply hand out food without bothering to regulate it. How convenient…
6. Gold To Go
In most parts of the world, we get a Big Mac to go. In Dubai, they have gold to go. You're going to want to take a little bit of dough out of your account because where we're going next you will certainly need it.
7. Just Another Ad In The Paper
We’ve found the Craigslist of Dubai, it appears. If you’re in the market of buying a bride for yourself, step right up. If you have a brother, even better. We’ll send the both of you in the direction of these twins.
However, we hope you’re a man and not a lesbian. In Dubai, homosexuality is illegal and punishable by the death penalty. I guess we’ll have to skip going to the gay bar tonight.
8. Sky High Tennis Court
Like I said before, you're going to want to take out your gold to go. I can't imagine how much membership to a tennis court like this costs, but we assure you, it ain't cheap. It's also not for the faint of heart. Imagine losing your ball over the side of this court. I'm getting nauseous simply looking at it. We should probably get down from here.
9. Back On The Road
Why ride a horse, when you can ride a bike with high horsepower. This is one beast that knows how to gallup. Giddyup! Read more at: https://tr.im/1R7xh
10. Lambo Police Car
And while we're speaking about the oddities seen on the road, let's talk about this police car. Is the police department funded by taxes or did this officer simply go out on a limb and buy this for himself? Regardless we should probably stop staring. We don't want to be arrested for something like kissing in public or showing our shoulders. Read more at: https://tr.im/1R7xh
11. Browsing Through The Newspaper
12. Cell Phones Worth More Than A Car
eady for a full day of shopping? No? We're the cell phones that cost $43,000 a turnoff to you? Yes, they turned me off too. Dubai is famous for some of its shopping and retail attractions (among other things). Perhaps you just don't know luxury when you see it. Read more at: https://tr.im/MD67W
13. This Is How You Get Around In Dubai
Oh look, here we see a few locals on their morning commute. Just kidding, we have no idea how the locals get to work. We do know however, that Dubai is one of the only places in the world that build man made islands (in the shape of a palm tree?!) so everybody has beach front property. They must use these paddle boards to hang out with neighbors and go to the grocery store.
14. No Fish On The Metro
he Dubai metro has a few odd rules. I see I forgot to inform you of all of them. If you get in trouble, I might know a guy that can get you off the hook, much like that fish you're carrying.
15. Your average Parking Lot
Some drivers like a vehicle with high horsepower, while others prefer one with other forms of power. These creatures are great for getting through those pesky traffic jams. I’ll tell you more about that later.
16. Shall We Ride A Yacht?
Much like the man who brings his cheetah in the car with him, we found another man who brings another kind of big cat on his yacht. Seriously, I'm not lion here.
17. Luxury Traffic Jam
Like I said before, that camel would really come in handy right about now. It’s such a shame that we have all this horsepower and no room to gallup. What’s the point of having a luxury car if we’re just like everybody else around here?
18. Don't Forget To Walk Your Camel
I'd like to take you on a camel ride, but if your rump is too sore, we can simply drive alone while we walk the camel. This isn't as bizarre a sight in Dubai as you'd think. It's an average sight you'd spot on any ordinary hump day.
19. Your Average View
I don’t know if you’ve caught on yet, but many luxuries in Dubai are average. Here we see just another view from just another building. Hold onto your hat and don’t get blown away